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July is ..... this week's event.... the start of new things.... school holidays.. like having to actually go to a lecture again..... working part-time as a respite worker..... unpacking boxes.... some of which I have not seen the contents of for a year.... do I need to open them? hmmmm.... I know aspects of what I have are missing from my immediate access, but that seems to be the pattern. If I unpack everything have I settled? Do I want to settle in this location. Will I know in September if I want to be here?
Every morning I wake up and think that today could be the best day of my life, some random event will happen and send me on my next journey. Somedays it does, other days I go backwards, somedays I test out the options to make the right choice. I have a memory of 6 perfect mornings thus far for the year....... and they were mornings where I woke up to see the morning sun shining through the window and I had someone to share a coke with.
I sit at home with my gorgeous little boy, a gift that some how also celebrates his birthday at the same time many other events may have or did happen in my life. He howls the house down looking for the sister he has still been missing for the last two weeks. And somehow she'll never be replaced by the dog. I know for the next two weeks I am not travelling the freeway in the dark every single day. And that variety will be my spice of life this holidays and I will catch up with many. For if I don't it will be such a long wait till a moment where I can see them again.
Oh and July is also the month for ending a marriage that somehow never turned out quite the way I had hoped.... damn you Disney for telling me the wrong story!

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July 2010